What Does Sanctuary Mean to a Homeless Person

Sanctuary What does sanctuary mean to a homeless person?  I ask myself this question all the time, because technically I do have sanctuary from the storm.  I live in a shelter and I have walls around me that keep out the cold, wind, rain and snow.  But does that mean that I have a sanctuary or does that mean that I have a roof over my head?  Don’t get me wrong, anything beats the streets, I just yearn for something more at this time.  It’s like they always say, you always wish for what you don’t have?  In working my now full-time job I am thinking of what my permanent home will look like and how I will make it my own.  I think of the things that I will put up on the walls, the meals that I will cook and the people that I will invite over to Read More …

Finding a Connection in Others

Connection So many times I am interested in somebody or something but am afraid to ask because I might be told to mind my own business.  When you are homeless the lives of others are fascinating.  I don’t want to pry into the lives of those around me and I’m not trying to be voyeuristic in any way shape or form.  People fascinate me because I wonder what they are doing wrong/right in this world that we live in that is allowing them to either succeed and/or fail at life.  I look at them and compare my own circumstances and choices that I have made to what they are currently doing.  Mind you, I am not judging, I am simply seeing whether or not what they do would work for me.  I approach relationships with this type of curiosity as well.  I know that a lot of homeless people do Read More …

Moments to Remember – I’ve got a New Job!!!!!

Moments to Remember For all of the things that have gone wrong in the past year, things are finally looking up.  I have a new job!!!!  It’s a job that actually pays me what I’m worth and is built on respect and trust.  I have not worked in awhile so it is going to take some time for me to get back in the swing of things.  I think that I will begin the process of readying myself for tomorrow which is when this job probably starts. The logistics of a job and being homeless are going to be a challenge, but I am up to that challenge and I think it’s going to be a good thing.  I will have to do my hair the day before and take a shower in the early morning and go to bed early for this to work.  Logistics for anyone is always Read More …

Trying for perfection but achieving total imperfection

Perfection I tend to be an all or nothing type of gal, this is the way that I was raised.  If I wasn’t perfect I got smacked, kicked or belted, that’s just the way that it was.  I was raised to see what others needed and if I could get it for them.  I was raised to be in essence, perfect.  As I grew up I realized that I was about as imperfect as a person could be and that all my trying to please others, did nothing for me.  And that is where I am right now. I had a dream about where my life would go but that dream was based on someone else’s plan.  I was supposed to live out their dreams and be the perfect example of what a wonderful job they did in raising me.  I failed horribly at that task, I don’t think it Read More …

Numbers in Time and Money

Numbers When I think of numbers as a person who is without home the only thing that comes to mind is time and money.  Time constitutes the amount of time it takes for a person to do something and how much time that person will have to wait for a response for whatever it is that they did.  Money is obvious, you make it you spend it and you try to save as much of it as you can.  Let’s talk about this time thing first. Time to a homeless person has two speeds slow and Indy 500, there is no in-between.  When you have to wait it’s the worst, I recently had to wait 7 months to get into a homeless shelter.  The wait for something that will change your life seems never ending and because it will change your life, the wait seems that much longer.  When you Read More …

Learning to Take Things With a Grain of Salt

Grain As a homeless person I have had to learn not to take things so seriously.  If you are going to succeed at being homeless, it means that you are going to have to take things with a grain of salt.  I’ve always been one to take myself and my situations with the attitude that the world is going to end if I don’t get help, lately I’ve been forced to adjust my attitudes. For example, to get into my current shelter took seven months, in the past I would have just said forget it and walked off, but now I have a little more patience and nowhere to go or no prospects, so I waited.  What I have learned from this is that you have to wait for everything, it’s like Ringo Starr says in “It Don’t Come Easy”, “Got to pay dues if you want to sing the Read More …

Phases

Phases Just as with everyone else there have been many phases in my life.  I have had phases where there was quiet and solitude and I was not homeless and I enjoyed myself.  I am lucky that I have had a reprieve in-between the madness and chaos that is homelessness.  I think of those times and how to get back to them now that I am homeless again. I consider the state that I am in only a phase.  I consider the phases in a person’s life to  be moments of a certain experience, whether it was that 20 year hitch that you had with your last job or the car accident that took all of 1 minute to wreck your life.  These are just moments in time that are either good, bad or indifferent.  The difference between the phase that I am going through and the phase of most other Read More …