I feel as though there is a waiting room for life and we all have to wait our turn. When we want something it has to be the right time and the right place or else it just does not go through. As I sit waiting to hear about a job that can potentially change my life, I think of all the times that I have waited or have forced someone else to wait for me. In waiting for others, it always seems as though the wait is longer, it just seems that whenever you are waiting on another person time crawls by at the speed of a snail’s life. When others are waiting for you, the scene is totally different, there’s always more time.
I have made people have to wait for me, wait for me to change my attitude, wait for me to get my situation in order and wait for me to become whole as a person. I find that when it comes to other people I tend to want things today, better yet not today – yesterday. This is something that I’m trying to work on because they say that patience is a virtue and I truly believe it. I believe that patience makes us better people and that patience can be something that one generation can hand over to the next. We live in a culture in which everything is based on getting it as fast as you can, when you want it. That causes some of us to be extremely nervous when waiting for something like an important decision.
I’ve gotten into that annoying habit of checking my phone a million times a day to see if there is an e-mail or something that is directed to me personally. It’s as if by receiving the e-mail that I’m a better person because someone noticed me. I know that I’m not the only one, on the buses that I ride I see the riders doing the same thing, what are we waiting for? Why is this phone so important? The one thing that I hate about always being attached to the phone is that I miss what is going on outside of my mechanical little world. What things are being done of importance, what conversations are taking place? Come to think of it, my phone has become a distraction, it is something that I use when I want to get away from the decisions that I have to make and the …..waiting. It seems so easy, just turn the phone on and you’ve got music, YouTube and Facebook all in one easy place. I spend hours mindlessly entertaining myself. This sort of technology never existed when I was a child back in the 70’s and 80’s.
I find that I don’t read as much as I used to because I spend a huge amount of my time on my phone, it’s all a distraction from waiting if you think about it. Waiting for something to do, waiting for someone to call, waiting for someone to hear, waiting, waiting waiting.
While I’m waiting I get to think of all the mistakes that I have made and all the bridges that I have burned in the past and that makes waiting very hard. I suppose because of my past decisions I am in the waiting room of life. Oh well, there’s always YouTube to kill the time, wonders what’s on there today.