Just as with everyone else there have been many phases in my life. I have had phases where there was quiet and solitude and I was not homeless and I enjoyed myself. I am lucky that I have had a reprieve in-between the madness and chaos that is homelessness. I think of those times and how to get back to them now that I am homeless again.
I consider the state that I am in only a phase. I consider the phases in a person’s life to be moments of a certain experience, whether it was that 20 year hitch that you had with your last job or the car accident that took all of 1 minute to wreck your life. These are just moments in time that are either good, bad or indifferent. The difference between the phase that I am going through and the phase of most other people, is that my experience just happens to be one that is out of touch with the day-to-day norm. Homelessness is socially unpopular and it has no time limit tied to it, so the phase can go on for 4 weeks or 4 years.
In the new shelter that I am at, I consider this experience to be part of the phase of my overall homelessness that I am experiencing at this time. When I become employed and have a place to live, I will consider that another phase in my life that will be accompanied with stability and gratitude.
In being homeless there is a lot of work to be done to end your homelessness and become stable again, this is where I am at at this stage of the game. Looking for work, being positive, attending meetings and applying for apartments is all part of my current situation. This particular part of my life can last over a year in just trying to provide stability for myself and find a home. At times I feel as though I am not making any progress towards stability. It’s at these times that I feel like giving up and letting go. I have to realize that my problems didn’t come to me in a day, they shall not be solved in a day. That is the current phase that I am in.